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Adoption can be a positive choice for women. We've begun building an ongoing list of non-profit, woman-centered adoption agencies and resources for birthfamilies. See our new adoption resource page for information on choosing adoption and finding an agency that works for you, or to submit a resource to be added to our list.
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Overview
Adoption can be a positive choice for women and couples facing unplanned pregnancies. Depending on the kind of adoption, you may have ways to remain in contact with your child as she/he grows up. "Open adoptions" can be very empowering for women; in an ideal situation you may be able to choose the adoptive family, and you can usually remain in contact with the adoptive family as your child grows up.
Adoptions are spoken of generally positively by crisis pregnancy centers, as that is the main referral CPC clients receive. However, are some things you should know. A few things to keep in mind:
- Make sure adoption is the option that you think is right for you. If you've visited a CPC, you may have been told a wealth of false or misleading information about abortion and single parenting. CPCs are known for their "adoption coercion," and some have even been investigated for irregularities in their legal assistance for adoptions [NAF Report, page 8].
- Going through with what you've been told is an "open adoption" may not be just that. Many women, especially young women, find themselves in a legal minefield when pursuing an open adoption. You should always find an adoption agency that you trust, and you should be on the lookout for those with 501(c)(3) status (to be sure they are, in fact, not for profit). This pamphlet from Spence-Chapin highlights birthmother rights as they generally, but these rights may vary state-by-state.
- You have the right in all U.S. states to revoke consent for adoption after the birth of your baby, but that period of time varies from state to state. You should never let anyone make you feel bad about a last-minute change of heart. This decision is yours and yours alone.
- There is no single option in facing an unplanned pregnancy that comes completely without drawbacks, despite the all-positive outlook on adoption held by most CPCs. Abortion and single parenting both have some physical and emotional drawbacks, and adoption is no exception. These include:
- A report issued by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute suggests women are often not given enough time to make up their minds about placing children for adoption, and many do not realize "open adoptions" have strict limitations in their states. This means many women who believe they have entered into a legal contract may someday be denied visitation or contact updates with the adoptive family. Remaining informed of potential legal battles before and after the process is complete is of utmost importance; choose an agency that is willing to support you legally and keep you informed of policy shifts.
- Giving your child up for adoption can have a huge emotional toll on women. A period of grief following the birth is not uncommon, and may relapse during "milestone" dates (the anniversary of the surrender, etc). In facing this reality, it is important to recognize your feelings are valid. Do not let anyone make you feel bad or guilty for having them. In addition, you should never feel guilty for not having them. Every woman has a different and valid response to choosing adoption; there are many resources available for support should you choose this option.
- Some studies suggest higher instances of childhood disorders in adopted children.
It's important to note that there are many, many women who have given children up for adoption, and a woman who was well-informed about her decision will ultimately have a hugely more positive experience with the process than a woman who was coerced into the decision or left in the dark about the details.
Avoiding Adoption Coercion
It is extremely difficult to secure, legally, what would accurately define an "open adoption." While many agencies offer extensive assistance, the infrastructure of adoption processes in the United States simply do not guarantee you the right to an open adoption if the sentiment is not shared by the adoptive family. This is not to say you cannot find adoptive families that will be happy to accommodate your desires for openness; in some cases, additional legal documents can be prepared to ensure the original agreement will be followed through. A publication by the Adoption Institute gives an excellent report on the common legal practices in American adoptions today.
Adoption coercion is widely practiced by crisis pregnancy centers. As highlighted in our testimonials, often CPCs withhold assistance to single women planning on parenting her future child. In addition, the Choose Life license plate project was specifically designed to fund prenatal assistance for women carrying pregnancies that will be placed for adoption through CPCs.
If you are pregnant and considering adoption, know that you have the right to remain 100% informed about your agency's legal practices. The American Association of Open Adoption Agencies offers straightforward information on your rights, and can help you access free or low-cost legal help as needed.
Further Reading on Adoption Coercion
Adoption Resources and Agencies
We've begun compiling a list of adoption agencies and resources known to have a positive approach to the pregnant woman. If you know of others not listed here, please send them to us! Our mission is to provide as much information to women facing unplanned pregnancies, and we believe being able to locate woman-positive adoption resources is equally important to our mission of reproductive justice for all. Our criteria includes:
- An agency with 501(c)(3) or other non-profit status
- A secular or non-denominational agency, or an agency that does not discriminate on the basis of religion
- An agency with no "hidden agenda"... that is, the agency does not work to manipulate decisions
- An agency that gives women legal support, and will not use scare tactics should a woman have a change of heart at any time where a revoke of consent is legal
- An agency with post-placement counseling available free of charge
- An agency that does not discriminate on the basis of race for placement
- Preferably an agency that is willing to work with single prospective parents and same-sex couples
Resource and Agency List
The Doula Project (New York City) now has a volunteer-based birth doula program for birthing women planning on giving her child up for adoption.
Open Adoption and Family Services (Oregon and Washington State)
Boys and Girls Aid (Oregon)
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Host a monthly Vigil for Choice outside your local crisis pregnancy center!
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